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[\/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space height=”20px”][vc_video link=”https:\/\/youtu.be\/bf7FAQalIp0″ align=”center”][vc_empty_space height=”20px”][vc_column_text]<\/p>\n
Focus on treatment and avoid anxiety .. \u00a0You will be surprised by how much you can survive.<\/strong><\/p>\n My good relations with others gave meaning to my life<\/strong><\/p>\n I stopped paying attention to the simple things\u00a0\u00a0 and focused on being with whom I loved<\/strong><\/p>\n [\/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]Roger Wickam, is a 50 years old musician. Although originally from the UK, home for him is currently Madrid, Spain.\u00a0 He moved to Doha 5 years ago along with his loving wife and two children. An artist, Roger plays the saxophone and flute, and makes records. As for his life in Doha, he describes it is as \u201clovely!\u201d. \u201cAs a family, we\u2019re very happy here\u201d, he says. \u201cWe work hard as anyone else, but we enjoy going on our holidays as well.\u201d For most of his life, his health had been \u201cvery normal\u201d. He would exercise by swimming or running, and he never smoked. A gradual and modest increase in weight was the only health related concern he had previously faced.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n When asked to share his story and message for those battling cancer, he enthusiastically agrees. \u201cIf it is to help other patients then that\u2019s a lovely idea; I\u2019m all for it!\u201d. He believes that having someone to talk to and relate to is very important. \u201cI have shared with Qatar Cancer Society that if you ever need me for anything, such as speaking to patients with the same condition that I had, then I would be more than happy to do so. I think it\u2019s really important.\u201d When he was diagnosed, he says, he knew someone who \u201chad the same thing\u201d. As soon as he spoke to them it made a huge difference in his life. \u201cIt massively made everything better. I went in for the operation and chemotherapy knowing I may have a chance\u201d \u201cI\u2019m lucky\u201d he says, and \u201cI want to give something back to the system, and to the people who are bravely facing their struggles at present.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Towards the end of 2015, he went to his GP complaining of a \u201cregular sore throat and nothing else\u201d. The right side of his neck was also \u201cswollen up a little bit.\u201d The physician prescribed him with the usual antibiotics and asked him to return in a week if the swelling persisted. Fast forward to a week later, and Roger was back in the GP\u2019s office. His sore throat resolved in no time, however, his neck remained swollen. The doctor, who Roger describes as \u201cfantastic\u201d, looked worried as it was \u201cunusual for the swelling to not have gone away\u201d. He consulted his colleagues, and told Roger, \u201cdon\u2019t be scared, but if I put you down as a suspected case of cancer, the ultrasound department will see you within 2-4 days.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n A week later, Roger was in Hamad General Hospital getting a series of medical tests. That, he says, was the \u201cstart of the proper diagnosis.\u201d He had cells extracted with a needle from his neck swelling and underwent an ocean of body scans and blood tests. Looking back, he\u2019s glad the first doctor he saw \u201cflagged it up and got him into the system early.\u201d After having been through the process of surgery, chemotherapy and radiation, he recognizes how important early detection is. He describes this process of waiting for the diagnosis as the \u201chardest bit\u201d of his journey. \u201cNot knowing was terrifying. Once I knew, I could deal with it. When you don\u2019t know if you have a cyst, an abscess, or cancer, you\u2019re constantly worried. Of course, the doctors can\u2019t tell you what it is or isn\u2019t. No one really used the word cancer with me directly, yet those 6 weeks were horrid. It takes a long time to confirm, or at least it feels like it- with weeks spent waiting for tests, waiting for test results, and getting follow up tests. “He had a throat biopsy of the tumor in his tonsils under general anesthesia. He had to wait for those results, after which he had PET scans. \u201cWhen you haven\u2019t had cancer, you assume the word means death. The thought of wondering whether this may or may not be cancer was terrifying.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The day he finally received his diagnosis was inexplicably difficult. However, \u201cbut now I knew what it was\u201d he says. \u201cIt took me a couple of days to get my head around it. I had all the support of speaking to people who\u2019ve had the same illness. I spoke to doctors and they told me about other people who had survived, and those who had the same operation that I was scheduled for and were now happily getting on with their lives. I was concentrating on the operation and what was going to happen next. This stopped me from worrying about it all the time. It saved me.\u201d He describes a shift in his attitude from shock and a sickening feeling after being told he has cancer, to believing that his illness was treatable. \u201cI realized that this is survivable. This isn\u2019t instant death. I started to see it for what it really is, rather than what I thought it was beforehand.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He immediately shared the news with his wife, and together, they shared some details with their children as they were \u201cquite grown up\u201d. \u201cIt\u2019s too big of a thing to not tell them. As a parent, you need to be as honest with your kids as you can.\u201d Over the following weeks, he shared the news with the rest of his family, as well as people around him. \u201cThe more I talked about it, the less frightened I became. Eventually, I began to make it a point to share my story with people as it made me feel better.\u201d He stresses on the importance of support from friends and family during challenging times. \u201cBottling it all up and going into a hole is a bad idea. We all need to talk.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n An optimist, Roger tried to find something positive even during difficult times. \u201cI had wonderful conversations with friends and family that I hadn\u2019t spoken to in a long time. Whatever I may have endured health wise, at least I experienced something great in terms of my relationships.\u201d He was keen on reconnecting with people he cared about, as \u201cIf something bad happened, I wanted to have told everybody that I loved them. I didn\u2019t want to hold back. I realized that relationships are what give meaning to my life. I stopped caring about silly things in life and focused on being with my loved ones\u201d He remarks that these conversations helped him a lot psychologically, far more than he realized at the time. He never felt angry or frustrated with his diagnosis, as he told himself that \u201cNobody deserves to have cancer. Life is a mixed bag that comes with lots of small and big problems. You can\u2019t be angry at the problem and hope it goes away, you need to focus on how you are going to deal with it.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 2 months following his diagnosis, he underwent surgery in February 2016. On the operation, he says that \u201cgoing in lying on a trolley was frightening.\u201d The next thing he remembers was waking up in the ICU, surrounded by machines, with tubes coming out of every part of his body. \u201cIt was intimidating. But overall, it was quite quick actually. That\u2019s the good thing about the Qatar system. There\u2019s loads of machines, and everything is modern.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n In addition to surgery, Roger also received cycles of chemotherapy and radiation therapy. His chemotherapy was \u201crough\u201d. During this period, there were times when he was unable to eat or drink and was required to stay in the hospital for 3weeks. He describes these as some of his \u201clowest days\u201d. \u201cEvery day felt like a week. My head and body hurt, and I could not sleep or enjoy music. I felt week.\u201d He kept himself going by thinking \u201cOkay. I just have to deal with this. I knew it was a fight, it wasn\u2019t going to eat me up.\u201d Throughout these vulnerable times, he says that \u201cyou learn about yourself, your personality when you think you might die.\u201d Despite his positive outlook and determination, he recalls moments where \u201cEverything disappears around you. You feel lonely as you start to think that people around you will continue to live on while your story ends.\u201d He recounts one particular day during his hospital admission where he broke down after seeing his wife. Once again, having meaningful conversations with people helped him overcome such feelings. According to him, it was not what people told him but rather, the sense of love and togetherness that these conversations brought which helped lift his sprits. Although he had several difficult moments, he was grateful that he was getting treatment and responding. And, he was \u201cgrateful for being alive.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n He doesn\u2019t consider himself to be braver than the next person. \u201cPeople say I\u2019m brave. But this is a kind of braveness that\u2019s forced upon you. It\u2019s not like I\u2019m choosing to run into a burning building to save somebody. I\u2019ve woken up in the burning building, and I need to get out. It\u2019s a different kind of courage.\u201d He describes his journey as a \u201cteam effort\u201d \u201cI didn\u2019t do it on my own at all. I needed my wife, kids, nurses, doctors, the staff at radiotherapy, the secretaries, the clerical staff- everyone. You remember all these people. Simple gestures such as people greeting you or asking you how you are matter.\u201d He recounts how, in the waiting room for his radiotherapy sessions, he met other people with cancer of various sites- the blood, bones, breast etc. There were little kids, old ladies, and young men. Some people where in wheelchairs, while others walked in holding the hands of a loved one. \u201cIt can get anyone\u201d, he recalls thinking at the time. He describes feeling a sense of solidarity with these people, built through frequent short, yet meaningful, interactions. \u201cYou start to make friends and share each other\u2019s strength. After all, it\u2019s a mental game as much as it is a physical one.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Even after he received his first \u201call clear of cancer\u201d, it took him months to get the fear of recurrence out of his thoughts, and to allow himself to slip back into his routine. \u201cI hadn\u2019t thought about more than a day or week ahead at the most. It was difficult to stop feeling like a \u2018patient\u2019.\u201d Initially, every minor sore throat would lead to him worrying and spending hours checking his neck. He gradually overcame this instinct by reminding himself that he is alright and focusing on the present. Today, he has completed three \u00a0years in remission and created 2 musical records in this period. His goal is to complete 5 records in total by the time he completes \u201c5 years of recovery\u201d. He wishes for these to be the best 5 years of his life. With time, Roger says, he is learning to relax and live again. With each passing day, he worries less. As his life slowly returns to the way it was before, he says, it\u2019s easy to get obsessed with the silly day to day things that do not truly mater. He doesn\u2019t, however, wish to completely forget his experience of being close to death. \u201cIt reminded me of how lucky I am, and I do not want to ever forget that.\u201d Roger\u2019s experience has fundamentally changed a lot of things about him. \u201cIn many ways, I\u2019m back to being me. But in several tiny ways, I\u2019m a different person. I\u2019m very aware of my life now- my wife, my children. I am more about the \u2018now\u2019 and living in and for the present.\u201d<\/p>\n <\/p>\n His main words of advice to someone recently diagnosed with cancer? Get all the support that you need and deserve. He urges people to utilize the many resources Qatar Cancer Society has to offer. \u201cDo not tell yourself that it isn\u2019t a big deal- it is. Don\u2019t be embarrassed to talk to your friends and family. We all need help. We all need each other\u2019s support. It will be hard, but you can do this. Do not panic. There are lots of people out there and you\u2019re one of them. Focus your thoughts on your treatment and try not to worry about anything else. You will be surprised by how much you can survive. Eat well, live well.\u201d[\/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" [vc_row wrap_container=”yes”][vc_column][vc_empty_space][vc_column_text] After three years of recovery..\u00a0 Roger Wickam: My goal is to complete 5 musical records with 5 years of recovery [\/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space height=”20px”][vc_video link=”https:\/\/youtu.be\/bf7FAQalIp0″ align=”center”][vc_empty_space height=”20px”][vc_column_text] Focus on treatment and avoid anxiety .. \u00a0You will be surprised by how much you can survive. 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